Ep 39: Positive things Happen to Postive people

Today Tim Murphy goes deep into his history as a star high school, multi-sport athlete with dreams of winning a D1 scholarship.

That dream didn't work out, and he got a huge awakening playing for a smaller college.

An awakening that almost got their star athlete kicked off the team.
The lessons he learned during one summer between seasons have driven Tim to the success he is today.

It's a lesson for real estate investing because it's a lesson in life. 

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Full Transcript

Tim Murphy 0:00

Welcome back to the value driven investor podcast where we forge value driven investors on a mission to live life on their terms. No matter where you have come from or where you are going, becoming a value driven investor is in all our best interests. Because becoming financially free allows us to focus on what matters most fulfilling our purpose. Our community, a value driven investors is committed to showing you the way with the support of this community, you are sure to reach your goals for all of us in the value of an investor community, there is no greater gift than the gift of giving because together, anything is possible. Today's gonna be a little bit different episode on the value driven investor podcast. The episode today is really gonna be about mindset. And if you don't think that mindset is probably the most important thing as an investor, then I guess you don't really know what it means to be a real estate investor or an investor in anything, or what it means to be a value driven investor. Because mindset is everything. When you're an investor, an entrepreneur, an athlete, someone that's going to achieve something great. Someone who thinks for themself, someone who wants a life on their terms. All of that stuff starts with the mindset. Today, I want to talk about something that's super important to me. And I want to tell the story about how I came to the conclusion that positive things happen to positive people. Because I wouldn't say that I was a kid growing up that had a negative aura about me, I wouldn't say that I was a bad kid. I wouldn't say that I was someone who would always be putting people down. But I will tell you that positive things happen to positive people, is something that completely changed my life. There's not many moments that you can clearly define when your life has changed. And the story that I'm gonna share with you about positive things have been a positive people and the saying that I have that I say to myself on a regular basis. Is that one thing for me. Now, there's several moments, I believe, over the course of someone's life, where there's paradigm shifts where your life has changed, and you just know it. Another one of those moments is when I had my first child, you know, when you're in this world, and it's just you. That's one thing when you're in this world, and it's you, and a little person, your child who is dependent on you. That is a whole nother thing. When that happened to me, and I had the I was lucky enough to have my first daughter. I knew in that moment that my life had changed. I knew in that moment when I married my wife and I put that ring on her finger and I said I do that my life had changed forever. These are paradigm shifts in your life. They're the biggest choices that you decide to make in your life, where you just know it will never be the same. So this is the story. I'm a big athlete. I don't know if many of you know that. But I was a big athlete played three different sports in high school. Made varsity sports as a freshman in baseball. And then as a sophomore, I made varsity sports for football and hockey. What does that have to do with anything? I just want to give you the background to how I came to this paradigm shift in my life. Sports was my life in let's call it the first phase of my life. I was an athlete. I was a competitor. I wanted to win, and I wanted to be the best

Tim Murphy 5:00

I was fortunate enough my sophomore year to make varsity football. Now, I wouldn't say that I was a starter, but I definitely played. And we won a state championship. And how has actually my first taste at real victory? Sure, growing up, won plenty of tournaments as a young athlete in multiple different sports, but I never won something as big as a state championship, where you go to the pro football field, and you have fans that show up, and they're cheering you on and you're on TV, and you win the title. That was a pretty cool moment. I was also lucky enough to play on probably, in my opinion, I think a lot of people's opinion, the best hockey team to ever come through my high school, which wasn't a small high school was about I think, 2500 kids, around 2000 Kids, something like that. So it was a good size high school. And our hockey team was a really good hockey team. I was also fortunate enough to grow up with some really good friends that we played baseball and hockey together. There's like five of us that play baseball and hockey together. And we played on this hockey team that won the state tournament. Now, if you don't know anything about winning the state hockey tournament in Minnesota, you need to look it up. Because some people say that it could be potentially the biggest high school athletic event in all of the United States. We're talking when I won the state high school hockey tournament, there was 28,000 people in the stance. And in the game, which has begun I was fortunate enough to play in which is still labeled as one of the most historic high school hockey games and all of Minnesota because my team played in five overtimes. And it was a semifinal game to go to the championship. We won that game. That game finished at almost, I think close to two o'clock in the morning. And it's still talked about today, I still walk up to people or people walk up to me and say did you play in that Apple Valley State High School hockey game in 1996? That went until two in the morning? That was five overtimes. I said yeah, and then everybody that brings it up, tells me where they were. I mean, that was a long time ago, and people still remember where they were when we played that game. So that kind of success, that kind of victory to play in that kind of game with that kind of exposure. That was amazing. That was an amazing experience for me and my buddies and everybody on our team. And after that, I went on to play junior hockey. I wasn't ready for college. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to college. But what I did know is I wasn't done playing hockey. Now I was a little disappointed. I had double knee surgery. The summer after my junior year in hockey. The double knee surgery was something that I didn't want to do. But the doctor said, You know what, Tim, you have to do this. If you don't, it could potentially affect you for the rest of your life. What I had was Patellar tendinitis in both my knees, and so I had to have surgery on both my knees. During the summer, I believe it was the summer I don't remember exactly when it was but I know it was before the football season. And then went the football season, the hockey season and then the baseball season. That's usually the order that my sports went in. And I had to pick and the doc said you know I might have you ready to play football, but I just want you to know you might not be ready to play football. I had to sacrifice a sport because I never took time off playing being a three sport athlete. I was always on the go. I was always playing sports. I was always active. Probably because I was so damn competitive. That's a lot like how I am right now today. Anyways, I had to pick well which sport if you had to miss time are you willing to miss time in and football was probably the sport that I wasn't as good at

Tim Murphy 9:54

and it was a sport that I was willing to miss if I had to pick one not that I wanted to not that I wanted to let my teammates down, but it was a sport that I would pick. Well, unfortunately, the day came where I just couldn't do it. I couldn't run. I mean, I wasn't even running at practice coaches like, Hey, man, it doesn't matter. I need you at quarterback this year. And I wasn't a quarterback, I was actually a DB and a safety. But I could throw and I could run and coaches like, you know what, I need you there, man. You're my best guy. You're my best chance at winning if I have you at quarterback said whatever you need coach. So I started there, I played there. And my doctor told my coach wrote a letter to my coach and said, Hey, this kid can't run sprints. She can't, you can't have him running all the time. Like, that's what got him here. He needs to take it easy. He can do some dropbacks he can throw he can, you know, jog a little bit. But when it comes time for the guys that run when it comes time for conditioning, like he can't do it. And my coaches fine. Yep, that's fine. Let's fine. Go ride the bike, do whatever the doc says. Just do whatever the doc says. And hopefully you're ready to go when the season starts. Well, the season rolls around. I was able to fight through. I don't even know how many games I played, I think three, four games. And then finally I just I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't barely walk. My knees ache. They were so sore. The pain was it was difficult. But it wasn't the end of the world. I mean, I could have fought through it. But my dad was like, This is it. This is the sign. You know what your surgery went? Great. Do you want to ruin the progress? Do you want to destroy your ability to be healthy? Because you've got a lot of life left to live kid? And what about baseball? And what about hockey? He goes, I've heard about your hockey team. What are you going to do? said Well, what do I have to do coach or I mean, Doc, and he said, You can't play ball. Man, you can't play football. You just can't I don't think it's the right choice. Because then if you play football, I don't know if you're going to be able to play hockey. I don't know what this is going to do to you. I said, Well, Coach, I said Doc, I have to play hockey, I if there's one thing I'm not missing, it's going to be this hockey season. And that's when he gave me the advice. And he wrote a letter and told my coach, my football coach, he's not gonna be able to do it. He needs to quit. Just thinking about that moment, gives me chills, because there's very few times in my life, especially in sports, where I ever quit. Where I ever let my teammates down, intentionally. That's why I wasn't going to quit unless my doctor told me I had to quit because there was no way I was going to let my team down as the quarterback. And quit. But unfortunately, the doc wrote the letter and the coach was devastated. He tried everything he could to talk me into it. And that hurt. It hurt a lot because I knew I was letting him down and I knew the team would suffer. And they did. And I still think about that. And that was the beginning. The fact that I had to have surgery, surgery on my knees sucked was not happy about that. But the fact that I had to quit on my teammates was the beginning of a negative attitude. It was the beginning of the shift of woe is me. Life kind of just sucks. Now, I did end up playing hockey. My season was not as great as I wanted it to be. Because my health wasn't. I wasn't 100% Maybe I was 70%. But we still won the state tournament. It was still the experience of a lifetime. I still played my heart out. I still was captain of the team. It was still amazing. But I found out after the hockey season was over. And I was hoping that with such a great year, so much success that I would get the one thing that I was really really after which was a D one scholarship to play hockey. Because my sophomore and junior year I was getting letters to schools. I had the University of Minnesota which is one of the places I want to go sending me letters telling me Hey, kid, we're watching you. Unfortunately, because of my knee surgery, that all went away. Nobody wanted a broken toy. Nobody wanted a young kid that's got health issues.

Tim Murphy 14:56

That puts a chip on my shoulder that It was a tough pill to swallow. With that said, I finished my senior season off. I finished my senior year off and moved on to play junior hockey. I had a chance to play at the University of Minnesota for baseball but it just was not my sport. I didn't have a love for this sport. It was a little too boring a little too slow for me. So I decided to take my shot at junior hockey in the USHL went to junior hockey and play two seasons, I'm going to try to cut this a little shorter. And my first season was not great because I don't believe that my coach and I had a good feel for each other. I don't think I was the player that my coach wanted me to be because I was a little bit more offensive and not quite as defensive. He traded me I went to Waterloo, Iowa. That was a coach who valued me that was a coach who wanted me to play the way I wanted to play which was an offensive defenseman. I had a fantastic season. Moral of the story is I still didn't end up getting that D one scholarship. That thing I was after that I worked two years I dedicate my life to it. And it didn't happen. I had to come to grips with that. But I still had a big chip on my shoulder that knee surgery. Damn that knee surgery. I ended up going to Eau Claire University. And I played hockey. I didn't go to Eau Claire University to play hockey as a d3 school. I didn't think I was going to be a pro. I gave up the dream. I just wanted to play hockey because I loved it. And I wanted to go to good school and all these other different factors that go into making a selection of which school you're going to go to when it comes to college. I loved Eau Claire was a great school. I came in played as a freshman played tons of minutes was one of the top defenseman all through my career my four year career at Eau Claire university. But this is where the change in my life began. A Canadian coach by the name of Marlon Muller came into town. He said, Hey, boys, I don't know if you're ready for this. But I'm some Canuck coming into town, and we're going to change our luck. And we all laughed. Because the year before we were well under 500. And the year before that we were even more under 500. And it was a rough go. Winning was just not happening at Eau Claire university because he just didn't have the talent. Eau Claire University wasn't known for hockey, college hockey. But Marla Mueller. He was going to change all that. And I'll tell you, my freshman and sophomore year when you come from winning, because when I was playing in Napa Valley, my junior and senior year, we only lost two games. Two games in my junior and senior year, and now I went off to play juniors and played on some pretty successful teams. No championships but pretty successful, still winning. And then you come to Eau Claire, and you just learned how to lose. And I can tell you my attitude got worse and worse every time we lost. So my junior year with Barlow Mueller, leading defenseman doing fantastic was all about me. Let's just have fun. Who cares? We're gonna lose anyways. And my attitude just kept getting worse and worse. My junior year. I had good success. My stats were great. My attitude was like garbage. Nobody could do anything, right. This is where the story and my life changes. Marla Muller it says, hey, you know what, kid, you had a good season good for you. Come on in my office.

Tim Murphy 19:31

This is the end of the year. He's talking to all the players, especially the guys that are going to be seniors next year. And letting them know hey, this is what I expect. was my first year. What can I expect? You know, you guys did pretty good. We did all right. You know, I don't even remember what the record was. I think we were maybe at 500 I think maybe below 500. He said, but I'm not gonna settle for this kind of a record. Like I didn't come in here to be average. I came in here to create winners. And that's what we're going to do. So Murph, what do you think said, well, coach, I'll be back next year. Of course I will. One of your best defenseman, look at the stats. He said, Yeah, he had some pretty good stats. But he goes, You know what you didn't have said, what? You didn't have a good attitude. What it's talking about Coach when you mean I don't have a good attitude, how can I have a bad attitude? And have in place a well on the ice and you have all these stats, goals and sis, and all the size time, you're always gonna be on the ice? Because yeah, you're good player. But your attitude sucks. Like, what do you mean? What do you mean, my attitude sucks. He goes, see, that's the problem. You don't even know it. You're not even self aware enough to know how you're impacting all the players on your team. Your attitude? is one of the reasons why we didn't have a better year. What? You got to be kidding me. I was pissed when he said that. I was really pissed when he said that. I was offended. So you're telling me that I'm the problem? And he said, Yep. You're one of our biggest problems. And he goes, kid, I'm gonna tell you one thing. Positive things happen to positive people. Like, okay, he goes, You need to check your attitude this summer. You need to figure it out. And you need to come back with a positive attitude. Because if you don't, I'm gonna cut you on never forget those words. You're gonna cut me I've never been cut off a team. My life. Yep, I'm gonna cut you. You're gonna cut one of your best defenseman, if not your best defenseman. Yep, I'm gonna cut you. You can't do that. Yes, I can watch me. I just sat there. And I looked at him, I was amazed that he was calling me out. And that he was willing to go to the lengths and raise the stakes of cutting me off my college hockey team, my senior year, because I didn't have a good attitude. It opened my eyes like never before. As a coach, well, what choice do I have? I guess I need to work on my attitude. And I'm going to come back with a positive attitude. Because if I don't sounds like you're gonna cut me, he goes, good. I'm glad you're willing to change your attitude. Work on it. And I mean, work on it hard. Because I'm dead serious kid. Positive things happen to positive people. So that's what I did. I went home that summer. And I was challenged. Coach challenged me. And I knew he wasn't joking. And I knew coach Marlin Mueller wouldn't even think twice about cutting me off the team if he thought I didn't change my attitude. So for that summer, every single day, I said one thing to myself. Positive things happen to positive people. Every single day I said that. And I tried to figure out how do I change my attitude? I tried to figure out how do I become more of a positive person? How do I impact people with more of a positive attitude? How do I be a leader with positivity? How do I take a negative situation losing on a regular basis? And I turned it into a positive situation. How do we make it not about winning? Because I knew that losing was what killed my attitude. I knew I had all these demons all these negative things that I kept dwelling on that killed my attitude. It impacted me maybe it's the one of the reasons why I didn't have the success that I wanted. I didn't get that D one scholarship. Because my attitude sucked and I didn't even know it.

Tim Murphy 24:32

I worked hard I read books. My college kid hanging out. I needed a job to have money but now I'm sitting here reading books about how to be more positive how to improve my mindset. One thing led to another and I I had to go back. I had to go back to college. I had to go back and face my coach. I was nervous I didn't want to be cut. I mean, I had all my buddies on the team. Well, what am I going to tell him? Yeah, Coach cut me. Why? Why would they cut her best defenseman? Because I have a bad attitude? What I'm not good at? How do you face that? How do you admit that? I was nervous. I walked in coach's locker room or coach's office. The first day I got back on the campus, I said, Coach, how you doing? I go, I'm back in town. He goes good to see him or Good to see ya. He goes, Hey, did you work on what we talked about? I said, I think so. But how am I going to know if I have that right attitude for you. He goes, you're going to know if you have the right attitude. Because I'm going to be talking about it. You're going to know if your attitude changed, because we're going to do better this year. So hopefully, positive things happen to positive people, Murph. And he just left me hanging. Because he's right. How do you define if a guy has a better attitude, other than through his actions, and the way that person makes you feel when you're around them. So on day one, when I come to campus, he has no idea if I've changed my attitude. He could tell I tried, or I wanted to try. But when you're talking to a college kid, you really don't know because they'll tell you anything you want to hear. But you really don't know if they've put forth the effort and if they've truly committed to positive things happen to positive people if they've truly committed to changing. I knew in my heart I truly committed. But I don't know if I had the actions figured out and to actually show, my team and my coach that I've changed. The season went on, we had a pretty good year, relative to the last years, we didn't win the championship, or section championship. But we had a better record well above 510, games, 12 games above 500, something like that. I have no idea I don't even remember. But I know is about 500. And the true test of if I succeeded came when we had our final hockey banquet. That's where you gather the team. The parents come into town, you have a big dinner, you have a big hurrah, everybody's drinking beers, and celebrating the year. Coach gets up on stage and says, Hey, I'm really excited about this team. I'm really proud of this team. You know what came in here, this is the second season and we went above 500. And I feel like you know what we really truly grew this year. I feel like we're heading in the right direction. And these guys, these guys worked with me, the seniors worked with me to turn this program around. And I think we're on the right track now. He talked about who had the scoring title. And he talked about who did this and who did that. One thing led to another, everybody was having fun. And then he said I got one more thing to say. I challenged someone on this team. I told them that they have to work on their attitude. And if they didn't, they wouldn't be on this team. And that someone was Tim Murphy. And I can tell you this. We had our best season since I've been here. And we are headed in the right direction. And one of the persons on this team that I believe made that possible. The person that I think is the most improved, the most impactful. The one that I didn't make a captain is Tim Murphy. Tim, I want to congratulate you kid because I tested you.

Tim Murphy 29:30

I pushed you, I challenged you to come back with a better attitude. To come back and believe that positive things happen to positive people. And because you did you impacted every one of us, including myself. And I just want to say thank you. It was in that moment. When coach said that My life changed

Tim Murphy 30:12

because I knew that that was a pillar that was going to stay, it was going to be a principle in my life that was going to stay in my life forever. And it has. And because I've embraced positive things happen to positive people. Life has only been better. opportunities have only found me. People have gravitated to me. And new sayings, like anything is possible. Have come into my life because I have that positive mindset. I tell the story, and I get emotional about the story because it's that important. Positive things happen to positive people with something you should say to yourself every single day, anything is possible is something you should save yourself every single day, especially when you aren't believing in you. Or when you aren't believing in other people around you. Your mindset, your attitude. If you have negativity, if you look at people and say, they suck, they're stupid. They'll never get it. Oh my god, I can't believe them. We all know what it's like. It will crush your dreams. It will destroy every opportunity that comes your way. Just like it did for me when I was a young kid trying to get a D one scholarship. But if you change your mindset, if you change the words, you tell yourself like I did, like coach helped me do it, it will open all the doors. It will allow you to believe that anything is possible. It will force you to see all the beauty inside of people all the potential inside of individuals. Because if you think that we're all perfect humans, or if there's a perfect human out there, I promise you, you're sadly mistaken. We all have flaws. We all make mistakes. We can all look in the mirror and have something negative to say about ourselves or someone else. But see, that's the difference between someone who's average, below average, and someone who's great. That's the difference between life on your terms or life on someone else's terms. Attitude, mindset, positive things happen to positive people. Thanks for listening to the value driven investor podcast where we lead by giving for more information about our community and what's new visit value driven investor.com

Dave Lawson 33:31

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